i will fight.

To the three little boys I love the very most —

I am your mother but I am also imperfect.  I wake up each day resolving to do my best but sometimes I fall.  I make mistakes.  And I say I'm sorry.  Because I am.  I so want to give you the best of me.  The very very best but sometimes I'm afraid you get the exhausted watered-down version and that's not fair.

But I will promise you this —

I will fight for you.
I will fight for you before you have a voice and long after my own voice fades away.
I will fight for your innocence.
I will fight for your youth.
I will help you learn how to stand on your own two feet and then I will hope.
Hope that I did enough.
There will be pain, sorrow, happiness and joy.  It is what you do with it that matters most.
When the world tries to crush you, I will cheer you on.
I will be your biggest fan.
I will support you and love you to the ends of the earth and beyond.
I will teach you.
I will adore you.
I will hug and kiss you.
And then I will step back and watch you one day do the same.

xo
mom

Some days I question my ability to do this.  All of this.  Motherhood is pure awesomeness to an infinite power and yet so daunting that it can paralyze you.  As the world becomes a bit darker and more scary, I realize the sacred power I hold in my hands.  No one will love my boys as deep and as fierce as I do.  No one wants them to succeed more.  Who am I to expect someone else to teach them kindness, humility, love and service?

These are some of the deep-rooted reasons I choose to home school.  The public school system will not churn out a well-rounded, socialized, highly intelligent, service oriented, kind hearted, well educated human being — I will, you will.  I want my boys to know our normal, not the normal the world imposes on them.

Home schooling is my story, it may not be yours and that's okay.  Whether you home school, public school, charter school or private school, it is our job to teach them, to be involved and be present.  May the force be with you mamas!  You're doing great.