a look at 2012.

I've never done a review but I thought I would give it a go before we get too far in to 2013.  And seeing as I didn't blog here a lot last year, this post should be done lickety-split.

In January, we rang in the new year with sparkles and confetti.  I once again declare my longing for warmer weather.  Nicholas has his first scooter ride and we find ourselves enjoying lots of family movie nights.

In February, I daydream about sleep. Nicholas grows a lot of teeth.  We celebrate Valentine's day with Tyler and his kinder class.  And I reminisce about our old house and how much more I like the new one.

In March, there is an update about a boy, one fun run and a family excursion to Sandy Lake Park!

In April, I talk about change.

In May, I research home school curriculum and then research a little more.

In June, I pour my heart out about motherhood.

In July, we discover two baby bunnies in our pumpkin patch.  My Granny passes away and I catch Matt sleeping during Sunday school.  Nic shakes his booty.

In August, I try to summon fall.

In September, I kick off the month by watching You've Got Mail, followed by a special nine year old's birthday celebration.

In October, I speak of change.  We take our annual trip to the pumpkin patch.

 
In November, I recap the collecting of candy and a little boy's birthday party. I confess my love of the mountains and I give myself a pep talk.

In December, I recall our time spent in Disney, here + here + here + here + here.  We celebrate Christmas and even get snow!

And there you have it.  That's a wrap!

our days.

If one were to peak into our windows and view our days, I am pretty sure that person would yawn and be on their way.  Our days are filled with normal.

We stick around the house most days.  We don't live in the city.  We drive everywhere.  And we make weekly runs to target.  We eat cereal for breakfast and dinner is served at 5:30.  Our days are simple.  They speak a quiet reassurance that all is well.

The weather has been blustery cold (for Texas).  Snow was dropped on our doorstep for the second time this winter and even though it creates a mess, it is magical.  The tiny flurries fluttering down in the light of the moon, silently landing upon this and that, how could you not smile?

I am looking forward to spring, when the Earth wakes up and the flowers push through their sleepiness.  Being cooped up inside, with sniffles and coughs, make the days seem so much longer than usual.

But until Spring taps on our door, we shall enjoy the stillness of the winter while it lasts.

here we go.

I still can not wrap my mind around the fact that it is a new year.  2013.  As cliche as it sounds, I don't know where the time went.  Benny is now my big six year old, Tyler will be turning eight in June and getting baptized and this fall my baby will be three.  Oh and we can throw in the small detail that I will be moving on up to my thirties come April 27th.  I am not quite sure how to feel about that.

I will admit I am a complete wimp when it comes to cold weather.  As much as I loathe the hot Texas summers, I am always cold.  Cold feet.  Cold hands.  There is a chill in my bones that I can not chase away.  My dreams of living in the mountains may have just vanished in a puff of frigid air.  Maybe it is time to come to terms with the fact that I am a fair weather gal.  60's/70's, a light breeze.  That sounds welcoming right now.  Hmmm, where is that possible?

The last two years have been anything but fair weather.  I have cried, asked why, hobbled through growing pains, humbled myself in prayer and have tried to learn the lessons He is teaching me.  Life has been uncertain, a bit topsy-turvy and a smidgen scary.  I crave certainty, like my body craves oxygen and so I have grasped onto the only certain thing in my life.  F A M I L Y.  They are my life line.  My four boys have a firm hold on my heart and are the reason I try and give my all, every single day.

I will make it happen this year.  Watch out 2013.  I will hold nothing back.  I will rock the socks of each of the twelve months and blaze through this year on fire.  It is up to me.  I choose happiness.  I choose my family.  I choose me.

This week I will take pen to paper and officially declare my goals for the year.  I am still mulling them over, giving thought to what I really want to achieve, how I want to live.

And so I bid goodnight, because I know one goal I always want to achieve, new year or not — get more sleep!

mountain clouds.

Except for a few stints on the road, living in motels, I have called Texas my home for almost the whole 29 years of my life.  I have a deep love for Texas but I feel this indescribable urge to live near the mountains.  I want that beauty to be staring me in the face as I look out my kitchen windows.  I want four seasons.  It could be very likely I'd hate the snow and miss family close by but still.  One of these days, my dream home will reside in Colorado.

In the mean time, when the clouds are just right, I squint my eyes and pretend they are mountains.  Cloud mountains.  They are my cloud mountains.

the winds of change.

When the crazy, chaotic, stormy moments of motherhood sneak upon me, I close my eyes.  I dream of an empty road, open fields and a soft breeze whispering of peace.  I know so much that when my boys are men and grown, I will miss this time.  I will long for the days when they were small enough to curl their little bodies on my lap and let me kiss away the hurt and tears.  I will yearn for the moments of secret exchange as we cuddled under the covers. 

The days are long but the years are short.

My brain goes back and forth as I struggle with the decision to homeschool but my heart, my heart knows what it wants.  What it needs.  I worry about the change in the dynamics of our family, the lifestyle change that will occur, how I will achieve this idea that I have building in my mind and yet, be okay when it doesn't all come together just so.  Because, well, that's life.  It doesn't always quite play out the way we envisioned and I need to be okay with that. 

There is never an end to this learning thing.  The growing and the stretching.  Is there?

sandy lake smiles.

We were not planning on going.  Matthew was suppose to work.  I had plans of puttering around the house, folding laundry and playing with my three boys.  But Pierce had other plans.  He wanted his cousins to go so badly.  Sandy Lake Park just would not, could not be the same without all the boys there, together, having fun with one another.  And so we went.  We conquered.  We had a blast.  So, thank you Pierce, for making it happen.

The swings was a monumental mistake.  Let's just quickly state for the record that both my boys were in tears at the end, different reasons, but tears nonetheless.  Mom award right here!  The tilt-a-whirl was a favorite of the older boys.  Round and round would not work for me but for them, YES!  And the bumper cars were a favorite, by young and old alike.  Laughs, giggles and lots of smiles bounced around the room as we rammed into each other.  Memories were made people.  Memories were made.

And Nicholas?  Nicholas loved roaming through the park, exploring with Daddy and then finally crashing on my back in the ergo carrier.

Three big cheers for sandy lake!

what i miss.

Moving was one of the best events that happened last year.  Little did I know how hard I would fall for our new place.  The floor plan had me at hello.  As I was organizing pictures tonight, I came across a photograph Tyler snapped.  And I have come to the conclusion that I only miss three things.  The floor.  The painted walls.  The white cupboards.  Yep, three things.  That is all.

5 o'clock wake up call.

Nicholas has pretty much smashed my dreams of enjoying my sanctioned mommy time in the morning.  He believes he the whole "early to bed, early to rise" mumbo jumbo.  Poppycock if you ask me, but he didn't. 

And so during his morning nap I declared it time to paint the toes.  A little bit of color to brighten the day.  Pretty toes make me happy.

That is all.

popcorn & candy. the dinner of champions.

Life plays on a loop for us.
Monday. Wake up. Breakfast. School. Grocery shopping. Lunch. School pickup. Snack. Dinner. Homework. Bedtime.
Tuesday. Repeat. Minus the grocery store. Add preschool.
Wednesday. Repeat. Minus preschool.
Thursday. Repeat. Add...

And the picture is clear.  No grand adventures.  No silly tales to tell.  We thrive on routine, the constant hum drum of life.  But little bits of magic happen because we make it.  We choose to spin tales of giants crashing down stone castles.  When in reality, it is Nicholas Gray, destructo extraordinaire, destroying our lego creation.  And at the end of a long week we decide to have family movie night.  We pop popcorn and rip open boxes and bags of candy.  We throw caution to the wind and fill our bellies with junk food for dinner.  We cuddle and laugh and stare wide-eyed at the television.

Mama took the record off loop for one night and we rocked it out to our beat.  Family movie nights are just plain awesome!

for keeps.

You know you married a rockstar when you step downstairs and find dinner simmering on the stove and the mister over the sink, cleaning your vacuum.  I know, my heart almost stopped.

Matthew has been gallivanting about on business, leaving me to hold down the homestead.  Today daddy got to sleep in but mama, oh mama got to pretend she wasn't home.  I spent most of my day reading, working on my computer and napping.  The sniffles came to visit and I declared that we all stay home.

Board games made an appearance.  Boys were thrilled to soak up attention from daddy and Nicholas babbled to let us know he was happy too.

some days you gotta scooter...

...even if that means throwing the baby over your shoulders and crossing your fingers no one gets hurt!

bits & pieces.

Sometimes life gets the better of me.  And the woe is me, life's not fair and why? start creeping in.

It is time I embrace it all.  The good.  The bad.  The ugly.  And decide to find the happiness.  It is a choice.  Happiness is always a choice.  And that is what I am going to choose.

2011 was a bit of a whirlwind of some unwelcome events, scattered with blessings that were discovered once the dust settled.  I am lucky lady to have four boys who adore me. Lucky lucky me.

life according to my iPhone.

My brain is overloaded with multiple lists of to-do's --- one being "update family blog". Lots of life has happened since the last time I updated so we are going all out with a hodge podge of sorts. My life according to my iPhone. Here we go...

We vacationed for two and a half weeks in Utah at the end of July/beginning of August.  We loaded down the mini van and filled every bit of space and drove the 20+ hour journey.  Our first road trip with three children and it went amazingly smooth.
We bunked with the Nicols for part of the time.
Had family fun at the Elmer Family Reunion.
Ate delicious food.
Snacked on too many f'reals.
Fished.
Played.
And enjoyed the cooler temperatures.

The rest of August zoomed by in a blur of end of summer funs combined with the new start of a school year.
The boys wrapped up basketball season by winning their last game.  Tyler scored FIVE points!
We scooter around the neighborhood whenever the weather allows.
Meet the teacher night.
First day of kinder.
Eating with big brother.
Ikea cinnamon rolls.
We have a crawler who pulls up on everything.

Life continues whether I am ready.  Whether I am prepared.  My boys are growing.  Changing.  Blooming into magnificent little people.  And Matthew is my rock.  I love having all four boys by my side as we skip and sometimes drag our feet through life.

an update about an update.

My poor sweet family blog is falling by the wayside.  An update is definitely in order, just not tonight. But here is a little rundown of what life has been like as of late.

Tyler sick.
Ben sick.
Tyler sick again.
Mama sick.
Benny sick again.
Matt launches a new company.
Mama breaks her tailbone.
Nic sick.  Still sick.
Mama tired.

I'll be back when I can scrap up a little energy.

bored-sick-tired.

we take bubble baths when we are sick.

I am over the snow.

The cold is too cold.

And I am sick of sick children.

My mind is a big ball of tired mush.  My body is creaky and needs a good adjustment.  My Benny is sick and my Tyler has an over abundance of energy.  We need warm weather.  We need a scooter ride.  We need the park.  I suppose I should never live anywhere up North.  Wimp, that's me!

All the boys are tucked sweetly in bed.  I'm typing.  My life is overly exciting.  I hope I didn't make you jealous.

right now.

Right now baby Nicholas is performing a little jig.  My stomach looks like it has taken on a life of its own.  For the most part Nic is pretty chill but every once in a while he likes to make his presence known.  And I quite enjoy it.

Right now I am almost 31 weeks.  I feel as though I blinked and whoosh...the countdown is on.  Still so so much to do.  Maybe, just maybe, everything will get done before Nicholas' arrival.  Only time will tell.

Right now I am anticipating Tyler's first day of preschool.  I know, probably not a big deal to most but a big milestone for him.  For me.  He is super excited.  We celebrated tonight with a back to school feast fit for kings.  We celebrated Benny too.  Well because, you know, he does "mommy school".  We read The Kissing Hand and I almost, almost cried.  But I held it together.

Right now I am tired.  It was a bit of a trying day.  Lot's of fighting and whining and crying and a breaking of a glass.  But just like the glass can be picked up and cleaned away, tears were wiped and kisses administered.

Right now I am enjoying the quiet, except for the tap tap tap of the keyboard.

Right now I must go fold some laundry.  It's never ending I tell you.

Good night.

boredom has set in.

We are bored over here.
August is my least favorite month.  I still don't know why I chose August to marry in.  It is hot and dreadfully humid.  I am craving fall.  My body is craving fall.  Just the thought of pumpkins and cool crisp air puts me in a happier mood.  I sometimes believe I live in the wrong state.  I could do with 1 month of summer, a few months of spring, a couple months of winter and a whole lot of months of fall.

We are anticipating the start of preschool [yay Tyler] and our new tradition of the "back to school feast".  Nicholas will be joining us in early November and then the holidays are peeking there way into the scene.

So today, to combat the boredom and because I love owls, the boys put together their own little owl.  It was a hoot, ha!

And owls make me happy too.

neon baby.

Matthew and I rocked it out at an 80's themed birthday bash over the weekend.  One of my sweet young women [from church] was my stylist for the night. fun, fun, fun!

movin' on.

I'm ready to move on to autumn.
After the fireworks have disappeared and the fourth of July is just a memory, I'm ready to skip over the remaining summer months.  Straight to September, well, October really.  Straight to my favorite time of year.

{october 2009}

I say it every year during summer.
I live in the wrong state.
I long for crisp morning air and leaves fluttering towards the ground.  Texas just doesn't deliver soon enough for me.  Maybe one day we'll move.  Maybe not.
But I'll always have a crush on October.

home again, home again, jiggity jig.

I'm home from girls camp.
It was a fun break away from my normal day to day but I'm glad to be back.

[mommy, benny + ty on a kiddie ride at Six Flags]

June went by way too fast but was filled with fun.
Tyler turned FIVE.
The boys had their first experience with Six Flags.
We partied it up at THREE birthday celebrations.
Basketball season started.
The boys saw Toy Story 3.
Nicholas is making his presence known with little kicks and jabs.
And our home has been invaded with dart gun wars.

Hope your June was extra fun too!